We can never truly appreciate our parents until we become parents ourselves

I recently came across this quote online and I realised that whilst I have written a lot about the important people in my life, not enough has been written about my Mum and Dad who have been amazing, not just over the last 33 years but especially during the last 16 months since I had Little A.

I was my Mum and Dads first child. From what I’ve heard, I wasn’t the easiest of babies and suffered with reflux and colic much like Little A did. I have very little memories of my early childhood. It was only when I was almost 5 and my little Sister was born do I remember snippets. Climbing into the hospital bed after my Mum had had my Sister and eating shortbread being one of my favourites.

I remember growing up and not always being very nice to my Mum and Dad. The standard temper tantrums when I was young and couldn’t get my own way and then the attitude of a stroppy teenager. I didn’t appreciate my parents back then for everything they did for me. I don’t think you can ever really appreciate them until you become a parent and you realise the time, money and effort that’s required to raise a child. Little A will eventually treat me the same way that I used to treat my Mum; moody and answering back. It used to annoy me when my parents would stop me from doing something or just do anything that at the time I considered mean and unfair. Looking back, I realise now that they were just doing what was best for me. You can never really see that at the time though.

My Mum and Dad are big lovers of Disney and we spent many happy holidays in Florida whilst we were growing up. It is definitely where I found my love for fairy tales, Minnie Mouse and my hopes for finding my own Prince Charming. We cannot wait to take Little A once he’s a bit bigger. It really is such a magical place.

Me and my Sister were very lucky that my Mum was able to be with us every day to watch us grow up. She never missed anything. My Dad worked really hard Monday to Friday. I think this is where me and my Sister got our work ethic from. My Dad never had a sick day and would drag himself in even when he wasn’t feeling great. We were always taught that it’s important to work hard to get to where we wanted to be. Opportunities were not just going to land at our feet. I think this is proven in how me and my Sister have turned out; I had a flying career and travelled to much of the World and my Sister is a Beauty Therapist with her own business in London.

When I worked my bum off to get some amazing GCSE’s, it was my Mum who was with me at the school jumping around. It was my Dad who took us all out for dinner to celebrate my hard work.

When I went for my first Cabin Crew interview at Heathrow Airport and came home disappointed, it was my parents who sat with me and let me cry. They continued to do this whilst I went through the interview process with almost 10 airlines. When I got the letter to say I had been accepted for my dream job with Monarch Airlines, it was my Mum and Dad that I called knowing that they would share in my excitement. At the end of 6 long weeks of intensive Cabin Crew training, my Mum and Dad were there to see me gain my wings. Even though they should have been on holiday, they changed the dates to make sure they wouldn’t miss it.

They helped me move into my very own flat in Croydon before doing the same thing when I moved again into a shared Crew house in Crawley. My Mum would come and do my cleaning every now and then and we’d go for lunch.

When I met Mr N 8 years ago, they couldn’t have been more welcoming. My Dad was just over the moon that he had a man to talk to in the house after years of being surrounded by women. Thankfully, Mr N loves sport just as much as my Dad.

When I came to the decision to hang up my wings and leave Monarch, my Mum and Dad could not have been more supportive. Even if they didn’t necessarily agree with my choices at the time, I knew I could count on them to be behind me.

At the age of 28, I started a new job in the world of pensions and moved into the flat that Mr N shared with his Brother. A year later, they were there on moving day when me and Mr N moved into our very own house. They spent that weekend with us; my Mum worked her magic and cleaned from top to bottom and my Dad helped Mr N do as much painting as they could.

When we got engaged, my Mum and Dad were so happy for us. My Mum was so excited when we went shopping for my Wedding Dress and all the dress fittings that followed. Many tears were shed in that little bridal room. Me and my Sister took my Mum shopping for her Mother of the Bride outfit and my Dad got to go to a suit fitting.

The night before our Wedding, I spent the afternoon in my Mum and Dads suite drinking wine and laughing lots. We had dinner surrounded by friends who were staying at the hotel for the Wedding. My last evening as a Miss is so special and I will cherish it forever. The morning of the Wedding, we all met downstairs for breakfast and my Mum, Sister and my Bridesman were there to be with me whilst we all got our hair and make up done. Seeing my Dads face as he walked in that day to see me in my Wedding Dress for the first time is a moment that I will never forget. I walked down the aisle with my Dad; the first man I ever loved and the person that I will always look up to.

When we told them I was pregnant, they were jumping for joy. They couldn’t wait to be grandparents for the first time. When we told them that I was carrying a baby boy, they were so excited. As parents of girls it was something exciting to buy anything blue and to know that they would have a Grandson to love.

When I had Little A, they rushed up to the hospital to be with us for the small amount of time left of the visiting period. My Mum was crying with happiness and I will never forget the look on my Dads face; looking at his little girl holding his baby Grandson. Such a special moment. I think they were just so glad to see me and know that I was okay.

My Mum came to visit us twice weekly in the very beginning and then once a week after that. She would juggle her work days around just so she could always come and visit when we needed her. She cooked dinner for me and Mr N on the days she would visit and she’d make sure I ate mine whilst she watched Little A before she then headed home. My Dad would always be at the end of the phone to cheer me up and get me laughing again. My Mum has texted me every morning without fail since I had Little A. Sometimes it takes me ages before I can get to reply but it’s her little way of letting me know that she’s thinking of me.

It was my Mum who first noticed the signs of my declining mental state. It was my Mum who I ended up having a meltdown with and blurting out everything I’d been bottling up. It was my Mum who told Mr N that I needed his help. It was my Mum who came to visit for each of my doctor and Counselling appointments and watched Little A so I could go alone. It was my Mum who took me out for lunch every week and reminded me of what I used to enjoy before I had Little A.

My Mum and Dad have been amazing during one of the hardest periods of my life. I know that whatever happens, I can always turn to them for support and guidance. My Dad is like a wise old owl and always gives the best advice. I know for sure that without them, I wouldn’t have got to the position that I’m in now. Even though Covid has robbed us of so much time together, they are always there for us all. My Dad will often message Mr N to check in on him; people always focus solely on the person battling the mental illness but the partner needs just as much support.

Now I’m a parent myself, I think back to my own childhood and the happy times we spent together as a family. My Mum and Dad are completely in love and still are almost 36 years later. They have been such a testament to marriage and despite some rocky times, they are such an inspiration to me. I can only hope that me and Mr N will be as happy as they’ve been. My Mum and Dad always showed us how much they loved us. There was always lots of kisses and cuddles and we were told “I love you” all the time. My Mum has the biggest heart of anyone I know and it’s one thing I hope Little A gets from her. My Dad is strong and brave and has the most amazing sense of humour; also things I hope Little A will be.

Thank you Mum and Dad for everything you’ve done and everything you continue to do. Me, Mr N and your Grandson Little A love you so much.