TAKEOVER by my Mum - It was happening and I couldn't stop it

The day my daughter gave birth to her gorgeous Son, my Grandson Little A, was one of the happiest days of my life but the following weeks and months to follow were to have a massive effect not only just on my Daughter but for me also.

Little A was showing the same symptoms and issues as my Daughter had when she was born 33 years ago. He was suffering with reflux and colic and was a very crying baby and fought his sleep. These issues I could see were affecting my Daughter the same as they had affected me.

The following weeks were difficult for her coping with this new born baby and her new life. I started noticing signs and things she was saying that was taking me back to how I felt in those early weeks when she was born as I also struggled in the same way.

I was hoping she wasn’t going down the same path as I had done but it was happening and I couldn’t stop it.

The way I was feeling after she was born gradually developed into Postnatal Depression. There were many long, dark days and it was just like groundhog day. I couldn’t cope with the sleepless nights, a crying baby and judgemental people. I hated my life and wished for my old carefree life back.

33 years ago PND was not spoken about and there was no help or counselling in those days like there is today. I just had to get on with it. I was very lucky I had a wonderful Husband to support me. He just listened to me and talked to me. He was my counsellor and he got me through it.

I was regularly visiting my Daughter to help her through the day. Mr N had returned to work and she was alone with Little A for long periods of time. One afternoon when I was visiting her she finally broke down and said to me she needed help. All the feelings and thoughts that she had been hiding and keeping to herself the previous weeks all came flooding out. She sobbed her heart out and I just held her. It broke my heart.

The next day she spoke to her doctor who put her in contact with a counsellor and this then began her long road to recovery. It has been so hard watching my Daughter go through this as there was nothing I could do to help her. All I could do was be there for her and to support her.

These last couple of months she has been doing really well and hopefully soon her Black Balloon will leave her never to return.