Social Media - good or bad?

I have written many times about this topic and how I feel about it. During the recent lockdown I decided to have a break from all kinds of social media again.

Pre lockdown when everywhere was open I was always busy doing something. Meeting some of my Mum friends, soft plays with Little A. There was very little downtime for me to sit and stare at what everyone else what up to. With everything closed during lockdown and spending more time at home, I found myself constantly refreshing the feeds on both my Instagram and Facebook pages. I’m not even sure what I was expecting to see. The more time I spent on these apps the more depressed I felt. Watching other Mums posting videos of their little ones laughing and happy or photos of the newest meal they’ve cooked made me feel completely inadequate. I struggle with feelings of failure in absolutely everything I do and watching all this would just compound how bad I was already feeling.

Little A has recently started walking but I think he gets frustrated that he cannot do everything he wants to. Food is still a massive issue with Little A. He refuses most fruit and veg and will only eat dry food. Every day I try and make something new and it is soul destroying when he moans and throws it off of his highchair tray. Some days he will eat something he hasn’t had before and I get excited and then the next day he is totally uninterested.

Being on social media and seeing other Mums who don’t seem to have issues with a demanding toddler who doesn’t enjoy food makes me feel awful. I totally blame myself for the food aversion too. All of my friends who had babies at a similar time to me are finding their little ones food journeys a breeze. I’m not and I have Postnatal Depression. It most definitely is my fault.

Even after just a few days away from Instagram and Facebook I felt happier. I realise now not just how much I rely on them but how upset they make me. The pressures to keep up with all the other parents can totally consume me.

Whilst the video and photo apps can bring me down, I’ve found Twitter has been a surprising help. I know it’s still technically social media but it doesn’t feel like it. I have recently found a wonderful lady, Rosey, who runs #PNDHour every Wednesday night between 8 and 9pm. Every week she chooses a new topic which is discussed using the hashtag #PNDHour. I come away from each PNDHour feeling so much better about my struggles. There is a whole community of wonderful strong men and women who have suffered just like me after having children and it has become like therapy. Discussing what I’ve been through and hearing what other people have dealt with reminds me that I’m not alone, that PND is an illness and that my feelings are valid. It’s a must for any Mum struggling and I will try and spread the word about it as much as I can.

There are definitely good and bad sides to social media. Even though they can make you feel worse if you’re having a bad day, they can also be used for so much good.

In the current climate where physical support isn’t necessary available, support groups on social media can really make a difference.