Bottle or Boob

We had purchased a Next to Me Crib… it was one of the most expensive items we bought but was one thing I definitely wanted. We set it up just in time for my due date which meant it had been sat in our room collecting dust for weeks before Little A actually made his appearance.

That first night back in my own bed was wonderful after 2 nights in the hospital but it was a little unbelievable that our Little A was finally here and sleeping right next to me. He was so small and I lost track of time watching his little chest rise up and down… in awe of the little person that I had created.

Little A was particularly sleepy for the first week… it wasn’t just me who had been through the trauma of birth. Mr N was lucky enough to be able to take 2 weeks Paternity and being the wonderful man he is, he took control and told me to rest as much as possible. This included getting as much sleep as I could so he took charge at night and dealt with Little A’s every need.

During my pregnancy, I felt an immense amount of pressure to decide whether or not to breastfeed. I initially felt that perhaps I would see what happened after the birth but then we did NCT who are big believers in breastfeeding. Whilst I know that breast milk is wonderful stuff and is obviously the best thing to feed your tiny new-born, I wasn’t too sure how I felt about it myself. I spoke about my concerns with Mr N who was completely supportive and said he would be behind me with whatever decision I made. I liked the idea that Mr N would be able to help out with the feeds and I wanted him to develop a bond with our baby early on. Looking back, it was the best decision I ever made as I was in no state to be able to breastfeed.

I was worried that I would be judged by the Midwife, other Mums and even society for choosing to formula feed my baby. I was already feeling anxious about the approaching labour and the breastfeeding saga was just another unwanted addition. I decided there and then that our baby would be formula fed. I still felt worried about judgement so I only told a few people of my decision.

Once my next Midwife appointment came round, she asked whether I was hoping to breastfeed or not. I started sweating and worried what she would say but I admitted that I was going to bottle feed and she said “okay” and moved on. I had worked myself up fearing a lecture but instead she had nothing to say. I knew then that I had made the right decision.